What They Don’t Tell You
Once your diagnosis is determined, they tell you so many things. What kind of therapy is best. The right kinds of medication. How to treat your body. Stress management techniques and boundary setting skills. So many things to remember, but most of them common sense.
But there are so many things that don’t tell you… things that fall under “Good to Know”.
They don’t tell you about the days when you wake up and do your best to ignore your own reflection as you step into the shower, where you stand almost motionless for the next ten minutes just wishing the world would stop turning long enough for a few moments of peace.
They don’t tell you about the friends you will lose when you finally break the news that there is, indeed, something not quite right, and that there is a name for it.
They don’t tell you about the moments when, no matter how much other people approve, you’ll stop and question whether you are being an even halfway-decent parent for your children, or if you are doing nothing more than leading them down the very same path to madness.
They don’t tell you about those first few days on medication, when you feel like you’re imploding and as if things could pass right through you if stop breathing for too long.
They don’t tell you about those split seconds when the slightest negativity makes you want to bitchslap every other human being in the world, except maybe your nearest and dearest.
They don’t tell you about the endless sleepless nights when your brain can’t, or just won’t, shut down…. or even slow down…. enough for you to just close your eyes and dream without nightmares.
I’m starting to wonder if someone should just write a handbook about this stuff. Sort of like “Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy” was to, well, pregnancy.
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